• A new Associated Press^W poll reveals that 1 in 7 voters are either undecided or could switch allegiances–and they are more likely white, less likely liberal, and probably backed Hillary Clinton^W run for the Democratic nomination.  This could give her tremendous clout with a new administration–perhaps even her own White House^W job as chief shrew and harpy…
• There was grim economic news from the Commerce Department yesterday, as they reported Thursday that personal spending in September fell by 0.3 last month–the worst decline in 4 years, and when coupled with flat results in July and August makes for the worst quarterly performance in 28 years.  In other words, we aren’t buying squat–and what we are buying probably isn’t worth squat either…
• Delta Airlines announced Thursday that Northwest Airlines would become its subsidiary and would eventually merge with Delta into a single carrier–but that integration would take at least 2 years to complete.  One of the toughest jobs–taping a new logo onto every one of those bags of stale pretzels…
• Military whistle-blowers are likely being discouraged from ever taking action, as an investigation of the Pentagon Inspector General–the agency that supposedly protects those who report wrongdoing from being punished for it–has ruled in in favor of the military in over 90 percent of the nearly 3000 cases it reviewed the past 6 years.  In many cases, it never even examined evidence supplied by whistle-blowers–which makes being one just about as appealing as drawing point duty on a suicide bomber hunt…
• An Israeli archaeologist says he has discovered a pottery shard from at least 3000 years ago, with what may be the oldest known Hebrew inscription to date–which would suggest that Biblical tales of the kingdom of  David^W may actually be based on written accounts.  What’s most fascinating is what the inscription means–translation has been slow, but so far they’ve been able to decipher "Made In Japan"…
• Philadelphia is abuzz with excitement today, anticipating a noonday parade featuring their World Series-champion Phillies that will likely be celebrated by a crowd in the hundreds of thousands.  The city hasn’t had a big winner in 25 years, so city officials are asking fans to celebrate in a more civil manner–which probably means no cheesesteak looting…

• Justin Timberlake is showing the love for the links–he recently hosted a charity golf tournament to benefit the Shriners Club Hosptials, he’s working on opening his own green-friendly greens in hometown Memphis, and he’s just cut an endorsement deal with Callaway which will put JT on the course with their clubs, balls, and bags.  All I can say is that if he ever starts to play the way he sing and dances, Tiger should watch his back…
•  Pink visited The View yesterday to talk about her new CD Funhouse and to explain her, well, unusual relationship with ex-husband Carey Hart^W–who she brutally attacks in songs like So What, but insists, quote, "We’re really yummy. We’re solid. We confuse our families. We confuse ourselves, but…we’re friends."  If you are thinking that this is one seriously twisted chick, you would be correct…
• Rapper T.I., facing a prison term next March on a firearms conviction, believed he was ineligible to vote–but learned Georgia law only prohibits those felons actually incarcerated from casting a ballot.  He hung out with the public yesterday to do his civic duty–maybe he’s hoping to elect someone who’ll commute his sentence…
• Janet Jackson’s Rock Witchu tour suffered another setback in Detroit Tuesday night–she was forced to eliminate a portion of her show to comply with a Michigan law prohibiting the simuation of sexual acts in a public performance (check out the clip below to get an idea of what those fans didn’t see). This lends a whole new meaning to "audience participation"…
• On the subject of all things Jackson, Jermaine Jackson^W told the Hollywood Reporter that the Jackson 5^W will reunite next year–including Michael, with Janet as opening act.  It should be quite the spectacle–Janet molesting the audience, Michael probably molesting himself, Randy all "pitchy" and "dawg", and the rest of the family looking for a hole to crawl into…
• Just in case you were desperately holding out for it, let Lisa Kudrow^W of Friends^W fame straighten you out–there are no plans for a reunion now or at any other time since the show ended its run in 2004.  Mostly it’s because no one can remember which car wash David Schwimmer^W works at now…

• The Associated Press^W reports that Barack Obama^W is leading in Ohio, Nevada, Colorado and Virginia–all states won by President Bush in 2004–and would assure him of victory if the trend continues.  The John McCain^W campaign continues to stress that victory is within reach–although they don’t really say by whom…
• Another day, another see-saw ride on Wall Street, as bargain-hunters helped the market to a near-900 point jump Tuesday which was met with gains in most Asian markets as well.  This is just like the BOGO at Macy's^W, except that you’re buying a sweater that you don’t actually know if it will ever fit…
• The Federal Reserve^W is expected to cut a key interest rate a half-point to 1 percent–a near historic low that is seen as necessary to try and keep the nation from falling further into recession.  Meanwhile my credit card company is trying to explain to me how, "to serve you better", they’re boosting my interest rate to 43%–a month…
• Reports from inside North Korea^W say that leader Kim Jong Il has suffered "a serious problem" with his health–a charge government officials continue to deny.  They know the truth–it’s nothing more than the "serious problem" with his personality he’s had all his life…
• After just the second suspension of play in nearly 80 years of World Series^W games Monday, the Philadelphia Phillies and Tampa Bay Rays will try to finish Game 5 tonight–likely facing windchills around the mid-20 mark.  I guess that means we won’t see the end of those adorable ear-flap caps–which I love, since it makes this collection of spoiled-brat multi-millionaires look just like the geeks they made fun of in high school…
• A new university study has found that cold sufferers–carrying a virus that can live as long as two days outside the body–are most likely to spread their germs on refrigerator handles and TV remotes.  Obviously, this is the couch potato’s worst nightmare…

• Pink’s new CD Funhouse is in stores today (10/28/08), which is kind of an ironic title since much of it is about her split with husband Carey Hart.  In fact, she originally wanted to call it Heartbreak is a Mother-Bleeper–maybe she thought it was too subtle…
• Idol winner David Cook has hooked up with iTunes to promote his new single Light On–users of iPhone or iTouch can buy an application that will make your device light up and then play Cook’s song.  David says it’s a take-off on holding up your lighter during a concert, adding, "You get a lighter during a rock ballad, and nobody burns their thumbs."
• Ever since Brit tabloid The Sun published a dated photo of Katy Perry holding a knife next to a picture of a recently-stabbed teenager, it’s been a PR disaster for her–she took to her blog to call out the paper for trying to make her look like she condoned violence.  Those comments apparently upset families of stabbing victims in the UK, who now want her removed as the host of the MTV Europe Awards November 7–held in the hometown of the pictured stabbing victim.  And we thought her hit I Kissed A Girl would be controversial…
• The Black Eyed Peas are close to finishing their new CD The E.N.D., only Will. I. Am. says it will never be finished–because he plans to constantly update it with new versions every few months.  Some might consider that the view of a perfectionist–my ex would call it fear of committment…
• Amy Winehouse has returned to the news–and the hospital–with a report that she was admitted for tests on her chest and lungs "as a precaution", according to her spokesperson.  Smart move–the public had almost forgotten about her…
•  Dancing With The Stars is facing a whole different kind of elimination–yet another contestant has been forced to step away from the competition due to illness or injury, with Monday’s announcement that pro Julianne Hough not only has endometriosis^W but will undergo an appendectomy today.  Combined with the untimely departures of Olympic volleyballer Misty May-Treanor and Brooke Burke, these are either freakish coincidences, or the work of fellow contestant Cloris Leachman^W as evil Nurse Diesel from High Anxiety^W…

Greetings and apologies for the recent dearth of fresh silly material here.  I have no excuse, other than laziness.  You can call it a vacation if you feel extra generous!

At least I have some pretty cool news to share.  If it’s been your life’s dream to be able to keep up with the crazy antics of this ongoing experiment into lowest-common-denominator character assassination (?), even when you’re away from your desktop or laptop–your moment is at hand!  You can now access the world of Big Jim via your web-enabled phone, thanks to a new feature that automatically converts this site to a more mobile-friendly size automatically.  As you might imagine, it’s somewhat simplified, but it works very nicely without a huge download or hard-to-navigate pages. Again, you don’t have to do anything special to access it–just type in "bigjim.com" into your address bar, and a bite-size Big Jim Donovan blog will appear before your very eyes.

Give it a try and let me know what you think!