Posts Tagged “breast cancer”

Jul 10 2008

McCain And Obama Think Outside The Bun

Posted by Big Jim in What's So Funny About The News?

  • Presidential candidates John McCain and Barack Obama both spent time Tuesday suggesting they each can address the economic concerns of Hispanics.  As an Arizona senator, McCain obviously feels a closer connection to many Mexican natives–it must be why he made all those speeches in a sombrero…
  • The FDA Tuesday imposed their most urgent safety warning on a potent class of antibiotics often used to treat respiratory and urinary infections, saying there is evidence they may lead to tendon ruptures.  Among the affected drugs is Cipro, widely known as the best cure for anthrax poisoning–in which case you just have to assume leg movement is overrated…
  • A former EPA official claims that Vice President Dick Cheney’s office is responsible for a greatly-altered report on climate change, which would have pressed the administration to greater regulate greenhouse gases.  Cheney strikes me as a guy who probably inhales greenhouse gases to get a buzz…
  • A Duke University study has concluded that there are specific differences in how women contract breat cancer which are directly related to age.  This breakthrough will allow doctors to treat younger patients with different therapies than older ones–and that’s the kind of discrimination everyone will appreciate…
  • The FAA has ordered more safety inspections of MD-80 series aircraft for possible cracking of their overwing frame, affecting  670 planes in service to US airlines and leading to more problems for an industry already suffering due to soaring fuel prices.  In other words, that overcrowded flight that will charge you for checked bags and pretzels will now be several hours late…
  • Some things never change–and so it was Tuesday when Queen Elizabeth hosted her first formal garden tea of the summer, done just as it was 140 years ago when Queen Victoria established the practice.  Just imagine 8,000 guests, all eating those cucumber sandwiches and holding their pinkies in the air, and you’ll know why we won the war…
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May 14 2008

What’s So Funny About The News?–May 14

Posted by Big Jim in What's So Funny About The News?

  • Hillary Clinton’s decisive win last night in West Virginia still makes her an underdog in the battle for the Democratic nomination, but you wouldn’t know if from her statements, saying, "I am more determined than ever to carry on this campaign until everyone has had a chance to make their voices heard."  I’m pretty sure the only voice she really wants heard is hers…
  • Social networking giant MySpace says it has won a $234 million judgement for junk e-mai sent to its members by a man known as "Spam King". My guess is they’ll collect once they hook up with that rich dude in Nigeria…
  • Airlines will likely couple higher fares with fewer flights this summer to help offset the skyrocketing cost of fuel. If you’re flying anywhere for vacation, don’t be surprised if you crave some really expensive sardines when you arrive…
  • The worst drought in Spain in a decade has forced Barcelona to import drinking water via tanker ships–a public relations disaster for what’s considered one of Europe’s top tourist destinations.  Apparently visitors aren’t that keen on taking a cruise on the USS Aquafina…
  • The escalating price of gold has led thieves to steal over $2 million in jewelry from about a dozen J.C. Penney stores in California.  It makes sense–you nab a couple hundred grand in precious metals and snag plenty of Towncraft undies all in one trip…
  • A medical study concludes that teen girls who begin moderate exercise by age 12 can help protect themselves against breast cancer as women.  They get a double benefit with an early start–they can also defend against groping teenage boy cancer…
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