• After months of denials by spokespeople, Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie made it official–they announced Wednesday that they are divorcing after 8 years of marriage.  There are financial details to work out, since Madge is worth about a half-billion dollars and Ritchie, well, isn’t….
• Billboard magazine reports that Britney Spears is definitely hitting the road next spring after cutting a tour deal with AEG Live, that it will be international, and visit midsize venues rather than theatres or stadiums.  It sounds like another carefully-planned step made by her father, which proves that all celebrity parents aren’t publicity-seeking boobs that are painfully unaware of their childrens’ problems–but enough about Brit’s mom…
• Tina Fey still doesn’t know if she’ll return to Saturday Night Live this weekend to do her spot-on Sarah Palin impression–but CNN says that Palin herself will be a guest on the show.  Wow–maybe Palin will do her Tina Fey impression…
• MTV’s Total Request Live, or TRL, says a final farewell November 16 and Beyonce will be there to mark the moment, telling the show Monday during an appearance that she owes a lot of success to them–both for her and Destiny’s Child.  Maybe she’ll get husband Jay-Z to buy it and start his own channel–you know, Jigga TV…
• The mystery is over surrounding whatever was ailing Janet Jackson to force her to postpone 9 dates on her Rock Witchu tour–her reps announced Tuesday that she was diagnosed with a rare type of migraine-induced vertigo, but she’s receiving treatment and returned to performing Wednesday night in Washington DC. It must be great for her to resume her tour, and to realize that her only big headache isn’t brother Michael…
•  ohn McCain tried to make peace with David Letterman Thursday night, telling the late-night host that "I screwed up" by canceling an earlier appearance on the show, then endured some pretty sharp questioning by Letterman about his campaign and Sarah Palin.  I think afterwards, he probably would have preferred a debate with Hillary Clinton…

According to Pussycat Girls member Nicole Scherzinger (the Doll in front), vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin would make a great addition to PCD because, "She seems like a headstrong woman, a tough chick. And she’s hot!" These of course are ideal qualities–if you’re looking for a lap dancer for the Cabinet…

Britain pop superstar Leona Lewis is a bit peeved about a London label’s plans to release an album of her before she became a houshold name, and in fact her attorneys are talking lawsuit against the label if they decide to move forward.  Leona says she did the songs just for the experience of recording–which probably means she’s about as proud of them as one of William Hung’s memorable Idol performances..

A Boston musician who claims Bon Jovi’s song I Love This Town–which has been used extensively to promote baseball’s postseason–was based on his similarly-titled (Man I Really) Love This Team and is suing the band for $400 billion, based on damages of a hundred grand for each of the 4 million CD’s the band sold with the song on it.  While there are those who say his copyright claim may have some merit, it’s likely any settlement would be reduced–by, say, 8 or 9 zeroes…

Janet Jackson’s people continue to postpone shows on her Rock Witchu tour–after announcing Friday that she would resume the tour Saturday in Connecticut, and then scrapping it later in the day, they claimed her show Monday in upstate New York would be next, only to postpone that performance over the weekend.  Since she’s probably put off more shows than she’s done, they could refer to the makeup gigs as the Broken Leg of the tour…

Former The View host Star Jones is pulling no punches when she talks about her time on the show, referring to her co-hosts in an Essence magazine interview by saying, "Those girls were hateful."  Gosh, Star, you’d be mad too if someone asked you 15 times a day, "You’re rich–you better buy me something nice for my wedding!"…

Late-night TV’s David Letterman and John McCain have kissed and made up, with McCain again scheduled to appear on Letterman’s show Thursday night–after a flap that developed when McCain canceled a previous appearance at the last minute.  Letterman may have a little fun with him though–you know, calling him "that one" pretty much all night…

• At Britain’s Q Awards Monday, presented by the music magazine of the same name, Coldplay was named Best Act In The World Today, as well as winning Best Album for its Viva La Vida Loca Or Death And All His Friends.  Lead singer Chris Martin said in his acceptance speech that the only reason his band had won was that, "U2 are on holiday"–besides, even Bono has got to get a little weary with all the adulation…
• Beyonce finally decided to go on the record about her marriage to Jay-Z–a little over six months later, when she told Essence magazine that the wedding was small and intimate because, "it’s been my day so many days already".  And she said the reason she kept the news a secret so long is that, "What Jay and I have is real.  It’s not about interviews or having the right photo op"–plus they probably also had to make sure the pre-nup was air-tight…
• Singer Shakira has endorsed Barack Obama for president, saying she wants the entire Latino community to participate in the election because she believes they can really make a difference.  As a native of Columbia, Shakira isn’t eligible to vote here–but her fans are as likely to believe her voice as her hips…
• Weird Al Yankovic is at it again, taking on the T.I. hit Whatever You Like with a parody version now available on iTunes–the first time one of his parodies was released while the original song was still a hit.  Al credits the digital revolution with saving his career–which will probably grow even bigger once his fans start to parody him on YouTube…
• The New York Post says John McCain may be trying to mend fences with David Letterman, who he left in a lurch recently when McCain canceled an appearance on the show by telling Letterman he had to return to Washington–only to do a different interview and then not leave New York until the next day.  The two sides are discussing an October 15 visit–well, McCain is; I think Letterman is still talking about hell freezing over first…
• Actor David Duchovny of X-Files fame is clean and sober…uh, sort of, now that he’s checked out of rehab for sex addiction, as his attorney told People magazine, "David is out of rehab and about to start a new movie. He successfully completed his treatment."  Now, as long as he keeps his eyes tightly closed and thinks about nothing but nursing homes, he’ll be just fine…

• TV’s Dr. Phil is the latest addition to the train-wreck world of Britney Spears, as he attempted to talk with her at her parents’ request following her hospital stay Sunday–where she had been taken by paramedics after police were called to her home Thursday when she refused to turn her children over to ex Kevin Federline.  Dr. Phil says she should never have been discharged, and Britney reportedly had no desire to talk with him about it–I’m thinking they both should have their heads examined…
• American Idol season 5 champ Taylor Hicks was given his walking papers by record company J Records–just a month or so after they cut loose season 2 winner Reuben Studdard.  Maybe they could go into business together–how does Has-Beens United sound?
• United Artists, Tom Cruise’s film company, is reportedly close to coming to terms with striking writers, similar to the deal struck by David Letterman’s production company.  The only difference between the two is the number of Scientology meetings the writers have to attend…
• An online poll of 1000 participants has chosen Reese Witherspoon as their most-liked celebrity, while Paris Hilton was dubbed both least-liked and most over-exposed.  The irony here is that these same people will probably be bored silly with anything Witherspoon is up to, while salivating over every tawdry detail of Paris’ life…
• Betwitched star Elizabeth Montgomery, who passed away in 1995, was posthumously awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame Friday.  I’d like to think Samantha finally managed to cast a spell on them…
• A tabloid magazine reports that Leonardo DiCaprio has sprung for a Japanese toilet that set him back $3200.  I’m told he bought it because it it’s Earth-friendly–so does that mean it nicely composts all of Leo’s doody or what?

• Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Sean Kingston, Maroon 5, Fergie, Nelly Furtado, Plain White T’s, Justin Timberlake, Avril Lavigne and Kanye West were among the artists with #1 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 in 2007.  Clay Aiken spent another year getting absolutely nowhere near it…
• Jessica Simpson is in Nashville working on a country CD and said in an interview that it’s something she always wanted to do, but that she wanted to wait until the time was right.  No one is buying her last album, so that must be the right time…
• Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz told a columnist that 2007 was the year "I’m letting myself be OK with being happy…in an honest and genuine way–not in a medicated way."  Dating Ashlee Simpson is apparently a big part of it–watching her perform always makes me feel medicated…
• A poll on AOL’s Moviefone picked Lindsay Lohan for giving the worst performance of the year in I Know Who Killed Me and called another of her films, Georgia Rules, the second-biggest waste of a movie ticket the past year.  What a relief for LiLo–people were finally talking about her work and not her life…
• David Letterman will return to late-night TV tomorrow, but unlike the rest of his competition, Dave and his company Worldwide Pants have reached a deal with the Writer’s Guild Of America that allows writers to return to work on both his show and The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson.  Dave knows that you’ve got to spend the money to get the funny…
• Hanna Montana star Miley Cyrus is upset that photos of her sharing a piece of candy with a female friend on a hotel room floor have made the rounds on the web, saying that "it’s Satan attacking".  It may be–if Satan is one of her entourage…