• Citigroup^W told a group of employees today that the company will be cutting 53,000 jobs worldwide in the coming quarters as it continues to right itself in the wake of staggering losses from a massive amount of ever-worsening debt.  So the government bails out the company, and the company bails on their people…
• This weekend’s G20 major economies^W summit–a gathering of the world’s wealthiest nations–pledged to work together on the global economic crisis, generating a lengthy plan designed to address many existing problems.  China’s promise to declare tens of millions of its citizens legally dead to free up more of its crops for export wasn’t exactly anyone had in mind…
• The White House^W said in a statement today that it supports help for the automotive industry that Congress will consider during a lame-duck session, it does not want it to come from the $700 billion financial bailout program.  It needs to hold onto as much of it as possible, since who actually receives it seems to change on an hourly basis…
• With potentially deadly Santa Ana winds^W dying down, firefighters in Southern California are reporting that they are making gains on three wildfires today.  They are still battling several areas of hot air–mostly coming from the neighborhoods of talent agents…
• President-elect Barack Obama will meet today with election opponent John McCain today, presumably to smooth over rough spots from a often-bruising campaign and to talk over the common ground they share in order to better collaborate on the nation’s problems.  Spokespersons have confirmed that McCain will not be offered an administrative position–unless you want to count the eventual job of official First Family dog walker…
• Now that space shuttle Endeavour^W has arrived at the International Space Station^W on its mission to improve and expand the space station’s living area, the crew is busily unpacking the 15,000 pounds of equipment necessary for the upgrade.  Hopefully it doesn’t include a bunch of drapes and that guy from Extreme Makeover: Home Editon…

• Consumer spending was down sharply in October, which in turn forced retail sales down by a record level.  Of course, they could all be saving up for a big holiday buying frenzy–at least that’s what those retail executives believe, along with how their trophy wives will still love them even without all the money…
• President-elect Barack Obama’s transistion office reports that he will meet with Senator John McCain on Monday, with plans for the two to move beyond campaign rhetoric to find some common ground to work together in the future.  As a concilliatory gesture, Obama has offered to help McCain find a new Medicare^W prescription plan…
• Speaking of meetings with the president-elect, Hillary Clinton huddled with Obama yesterday amid rumors that she is a short-list choice for secretary of state.  Earlier front-runners for the job, like Senator John Kerry^W, are likely perturbed by this development–the fact is, Hillary’s not only a whole lot more popular, she’s a whole lot more frightening…
• Auto makers are busily looking for support on Capitol Hill for a $25 billion loan package, on the heels of Democratic congressional support for a plan to keep Amercan car manufacturers from the deep hole they seem to be digging for themselves.  I’d think this would be an ideal time to get some real fuel economy concessions from them–like requiring all their SUV’s to be able to travel a significant distance after filling up, or at least to the next gas station…
• The UN is deep inside east Congo, beginning its first large-scale food distribution since fighting between the army and troops loyal to rebel leader Laurent Nkunda^W have cut residents off from their own crops in this rich agricultural area.  People risking their lives so others can eat–it’s just that kind of publicity-grabbing stunt those UN stooges are famous for…
• Earth is now in possession of the first photos of 4 planets outside our solar system, trillions of miles away from us and none that could be remotely considered habitable–but the thinking is, from one of the researchers, that it’s only a matter of time before, "we get a dot that’s blue and Earthlike".  When we do, is there any chance at all that we can send Andy Dick^W, Geraldo Rivera^W, and Amy Winehouse^W’s drug dealer there?

• While much of the nation basks in the afterglow of Barack Obama’s election as president, the economy continues to dominate the news with a report today that the nation’s unemployment rate jumped to a 14-year high of 6.5 percent in October as another 240,000 jobs were lost.  If you’ve ever been on a 10-meter diving platform with a bunch of people nudging you to jump, you know exactly how Obama feels…
• And that wasn’t the only lousy economic news of the day either–Ford^W announced that it lost $129 million in the third quarter, and says it will cut another 2,260 white collar positions in North America.  If I were them, I’d be working like crazy to design a car that costs $500 and runs on coffee grounds…
• President-elect Obama is looking to the nation’s economic experts for help as he convenes a meeting with 17 members of his transistion economic advisory board Friday.  Among those participating is super-investor Warren Buffet^W–who may be called on to draw on his petty cash fund to buy the banking industry outright…
• Polling experts say that the outcome of the presidential election proves there was no white bias, suggested by the so-called "Bradley Effect^W".  As far as they could tell, the only possible white bias was the one against Joe the Plubmer, Joe Six-Pack, and Hockey Mom…
• Former New York governor Eliot Spitzer^W learned that Federal prosecutors won’t be bringing charges against him for his role in the breakup of a prostitution ring that put an end to Spitzer’s rising-star political career.  The possibility of criminal action against Spitzer has been hanging over his head ever since the story broke out–just as I imagine a large meat cleaver has been hanging over other parts of him as well…
• A fall snowstorm that has dropped almost 4 feet of white powder in the Black Hills of South Dakota and was swept up by winds gusting to 50 mph has created unthinkable travel conditions, and has stranded unknown numbers of motorists along Interstate 90 and elsewhere while visibility continues to be nonexistent.  The upside to all of this–Mount Rushmore^W collectibles are, like, 80% off…

• A new Associated Press^W poll reveals that 1 in 7 voters are either undecided or could switch allegiances–and they are more likely white, less likely liberal, and probably backed Hillary Clinton^W run for the Democratic nomination.  This could give her tremendous clout with a new administration–perhaps even her own White House^W job as chief shrew and harpy…
• There was grim economic news from the Commerce Department yesterday, as they reported Thursday that personal spending in September fell by 0.3 last month–the worst decline in 4 years, and when coupled with flat results in July and August makes for the worst quarterly performance in 28 years.  In other words, we aren’t buying squat–and what we are buying probably isn’t worth squat either…
• Delta Airlines announced Thursday that Northwest Airlines would become its subsidiary and would eventually merge with Delta into a single carrier–but that integration would take at least 2 years to complete.  One of the toughest jobs–taping a new logo onto every one of those bags of stale pretzels…
• Military whistle-blowers are likely being discouraged from ever taking action, as an investigation of the Pentagon Inspector General–the agency that supposedly protects those who report wrongdoing from being punished for it–has ruled in in favor of the military in over 90 percent of the nearly 3000 cases it reviewed the past 6 years.  In many cases, it never even examined evidence supplied by whistle-blowers–which makes being one just about as appealing as drawing point duty on a suicide bomber hunt…
• An Israeli archaeologist says he has discovered a pottery shard from at least 3000 years ago, with what may be the oldest known Hebrew inscription to date–which would suggest that Biblical tales of the kingdom of  David^W may actually be based on written accounts.  What’s most fascinating is what the inscription means–translation has been slow, but so far they’ve been able to decipher "Made In Japan"…
• Philadelphia is abuzz with excitement today, anticipating a noonday parade featuring their World Series-champion Phillies that will likely be celebrated by a crowd in the hundreds of thousands.  The city hasn’t had a big winner in 25 years, so city officials are asking fans to celebrate in a more civil manner–which probably means no cheesesteak looting…

The White House announced Monday that the federal deficit will grow to a record $490 billion by the beginning of the next fiscal year October 1–what one senator called "a sobering moment" for whoever ends up occupying the Oval Office in January.  I wouldn’t blame either of them if it preceeded a large number of drunken moments…

Conservative columnist Robert Novak has been diagnosed with a brain tumor–less than a week after he struck a pedestrian with his car and then drove away.  Regardless of your opinion of Novak, this is an awful thing to bear for him and I offer a sincere wish for his speedy recovery–I had just assumed he meant to behave that way…

Auto insurer Progressive Corp. is offering customers a chance to cut their rates by having a "black box" installed in their vehicle–recording the times and distances they travel, how fast they accelerate and how often they use their brakes.  Of course, the box data could cause rates to rise as well–which could make this the greatest traffic safety innovation since seat belts…

A Justice Department investigation has concluded that Monica Goodling, a top aide to former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, broke the law by using politics to influence the hiring of career staff members–jobs for which political affiliation is not to be a factor.  All things considered, it probably wasn’t that smart putting Karl Rove in charge of orientation…

A recent in-house EPA email reportedly instructed agency pollution enforcement officials to not talk with reporters, congressional investigators, or even its own inspector general.  So, do you think they might be hiding something?

A white South Carolina judge who admitted he called crack cocaine addiction "a black man’s disease" has been ordered from the bench by the state’s Supreme Court. He forgot a really important rule–Justice is supposed to be blind, not short-sighted…