• Barack Obama announced that he would bypass public financing for his general election campaign–the first candiate to do so since the system went into effect in 1976.  It frees his incredibly successful fundraising machine from contribution limits–and saves registered voters $85 million…
• A GAO report found that some 27,000 Medicare health-care providers owe the IRS back taxes–and almost half are payments withheld from employees’ paychecks for Medicare premiums diverted into the personal accounts of nursing home and hospital owners.  Talk about biting the hand that feeds you…
• The Supreme Court ruled Thursday that a mentally-ill patient found competent to stand trial doesn’t necessarily have the right to act as his own attorney.  I’m guessing the justices figure there are enough loony lawyers out there as it is…
• The Bush administration wants Congress to move quickly to give the Federal Reserve new authority to protect the nation’s financial system.  That way, they can use taxpayer dollars to bail out even more greedy brokerage firms…
• A heat wave in Southern California has driven temperatures above 100 degrees in many areas, including Thursday’s high temperature of 113 in Los Angeles.  Look out–that’s hot enough to melt a starlet’s silicone implants…
• An evangelical group has abandoned efforts to overturn Maine’s law protecting gays and lesbians from discrimination, saying that California’s move to grant marriage licenses to same-sex couples made it tougher to recruit volunteers who, quote, "don’t want to be aligned with bigotry and homophobia and hatred".  I’m sure if you eat a few lobster rolls and some blueberry pie, you could feel that way too…

As hundreds of gay couples begin to obtain marriage licenses in California yesterday on the first day such unions became legal there, demonstrations have begun by those opposed–calling the ruling that overturned the state’s voter-approved ban an action "by the activist judges on the California Supreme Court".  I’m pretty sure the translation to that is, "those anti-family left-wing pinko liberal terrorist lovers"…

Flooding from the Mississippi River continues to affecct Iowa and Illinois residents.  I read that things could have been even worse if FEMA hadn’t stepped in the last time this happened in 1993 to buy much of the most vulnerable property–which was back when they actually did some good…

Barack Obama has reacted sharply to criticism from John McCain’s campaign claims that he has a pre-9/11 mindset towards terrorism, saying yesterday that he would take no lectures from, quote, "the same guys who helped to engineer the distraction of the war in Iraq at a time when we could have pinned down the people who actually committed 9/11".  Guess we can call that an election issue…

A federal appeals court tossed out the convictions of a White House official on charges he hid knowledge of his dealings with jailed ex-lobbyist Jack Abramoff, saying the official had no legal duty to disclose what he knew.  Inside the Beltway, health insurance and paid vacations are just the basics of employee benefits…

Human rights groups say that former terrorism suspects held by the US military in both Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay prisons were tortured and received other abuse resulting in serious injuries and mental disorders.  Do you think there’s any chance our decendants will back on this time and say, "Thank goodness for Dick Cheney, Father Of Our Country!"…

Some 15 tattered $20 bills recovered from the ransom paid to notorious hijacker D.B. Cooper were sold for $37.000 yesterday at a Dallas auction.  I imagine there’s more than a few people who think the winner was D.B., wanting a momento of his adventure…

• Ashlee Simpson and Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz wrere married over the weekend at her parent’s home with sister Jessica as maid of honor.  It was lucky Jess was there–Ashlee decided to sing and needed something to lip-sync to…
• Jordin Sparks says that when Chris Brown released his debut CD a few years ago, she told her mom that she would sing a duet with him one day.  If she’s picking any winners at Saratoga, I wanna know about it…
• Mariah Carey told People magazine that her almost-three-week marriage to Nick Cannon is, "a stone smash".  That is record-business lingo for "This is a guaranteed success", or "I’m pretty sure this will be big", or "Please help me!"…
• Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull had its premiere at the Cannes Film Festival yesterday and got a mixed bag of reviews.  Oh well–I guess that means it will only make $150 million instead of $175 million this weekend… 
• Star Trek veteran George Takei revealed on his website that he plans to marry his partner Brad Altman, now that California’s Supreme Court has overturned the state’s ban on gay marriage.  The big question–is Sulu really going where no man has ever gone before?
• Al Reynolds, the soon-to-be ex-Mr. Star Jones is reportedly shopping a six-figure deal for a tell-all TV interview about his marriage to the former The View co-host.   He may get it–as long as he doesn’t mind the six figures including dollars and cents…

• Britney Spears and her father Jamie left yesterday for a vacation in Costa Rica–with Mel Gibson and his wife Robin, who at one time were neighbors of Brit’s in Malibu.  Mel is probably hoping she’ll put in a good word for him with the How I Married Your Mother people…
• The Jonas Brothers have picked up a tasty sponsor for their upcoming Burning’ Up tour–Burger King, who will offer concert fans free food samples and give customers chances to win tour tickets and meet-and-greets with the band.  Hopefully this doesn’t mean that stupid king mascot will be on stage with them…
• Madonna will be at the Cannes Film Festival today, where her Malawi documentary I Am Because We Are will be screened, and could run into her long-ago ex-husband Sean Penn, who is the head juror of the festival.  I would imagine they’d have a lot to catch up on–new spouses, new children, new hatred for Shanghai Surprise…
• American Idol champ Taylor Hicks, whose singing career has gone nowhere since his victory, will get a chance to perform on Broadway in another revival of Grease that opens next month.  Of course, the only difference between doing this and Idol is that the audience will pay $100 and sit in a crappy seat…
• Negotiations between the Screen Actors Guild and movie and TV producers will resume later this month after they reached a stalemate in talks last week.  They’ll each use the break to develop new strategy–which probably means a whole new batch of reality shows…
• On the heels of California’s Supreme Court overturning a gay marriage ban, Ellen DeGeneres reportedly announced to her studio audience yesterday that she will marry her longtime girlfriend, actress Portia de Rossi of Ally McBeal and Arrested Development fame.  Boy–things couldn’t get much worse for Anne Heche, could they?

• California’s Supreme Court has overturned a voter-approved ban on gay marriages.  Even Rice-A-Roni didn’t make San Francisco this happy…
• Republican nominee-in-waiting John McCain declared for the first time yesterday that the Iraq War can be won by 2013.  He forgot to add that it would require activating Boy Scout troops for summer vacation tours and that gas would cost more than cars…
• The IRS reports that up to 350,000 Americans did not receive the $300 per child refund due them as part of the economic stimulus payments going out now, due to taxpayers’ errors and problems with commercial tax preparation software.  That could explain my stimulus payment of $147,000…
• Barack Obama accused President Bush of "a false political attack" when Bush suggested in a speech in Israel that there were those in his country who would appease terrorists–what Obama took to mean his comments that he would meet with leaders of nations like Iran and North Korea.  He only wanted to see if they could convince Hillary Clinton to quit…
• Congressional Republicans ignored veto threats from President Bush and sided with Democrats to pass a $290 billion farm bill that increases food aid for the needy and to call for the temporarily halt of the government’s daily oil purchases for our emergency reserve.  When your own party is turning its back on you, it’s time to start warming up the memoirs machine…
• Michael Connor Humphreys, who not only played the the younger version of Forrest Gump in the Oscar-winning movie but  followed his characters’ footsteps into the Army three years ago, will end his enlistment next month and return to movies.  I’m pretty sure there isn’t a Forrest Gump: The Braces Years planned…