Posts Tagged “Hubble Telescope”

Oct 15 2008

Will The Bank Buy-In Buy Us A Recession Bye?

Posted by Big Jim in What's So Funny About The News?

  • The federal government’s quarter-trillion-dollar bank buy-in plan is being embraced by the industry as a means to get them back to the business of lending again, but many experts believe it won’t provide a quick fix to the nation’s economic problems.  In my experience, depending on a bank to really help me with my problems is like hiring a shark to host a pool party…
  • Wednesday’s final presidential debate between John McCain and Barack Obama may very well be McCain’s last chance to shake up a race that many polls suggest has been wrapped up by Obama. McCain’s people have suggested he may again try to connect Obama to Bill Ayers, the one-time anti-war radical who is now a professor and neighbor of Obama’s–I don’t know about you, that gets me right off worrying about the economy…
  • The Hubble Space Telescope--looking surprisingly like a flying mail box.Engineers at NASA say they know how repair the Hubble Space Telescope, and will begin a complicated remote-control fix Wednesday that will require them to wake up parts on the telescope that have been dormant for 18 years.  Are we sure they’re qualified–after all, they probably have parts dormant for much longer than that…
  • A federal appeals court has ordered that Ohio’s election officials must establish a system to verify the eligibility of newly registered voters and make that information available to all of the state’s election boards, a victory for the state’s Republicans challenging the administration of registration policies by the Democratic secretary of state.  So, the GOP is convinced the other side is trying to register ineligible pro-Obama votes, and the Dems are convinced the other side is trying to stop eligible pro-Obama voters from registering–at least they agree on something…
  • Thanks to a break in Santa Ana winds, firefighters in Southern California have been able to better control 3 dangerous forest fires that have each moved closer to Los Angeles’ northwestern suburbs.  The longer they can keep those arid breezes from fanning the flames, the better off they are–then again, it’s LaLa Land, and the Santa Anas are the least of their hot air problems…
  • The Rays' Carlos Pena, hitting one of the 8,375 home runs against the Red Sox in one inning alone--wait, this is that Yankees hacker at it again!The upstart Tampa Bay Rays, who until now had never won more than 70 games a season, have pushed the mighty Boston Red Sox into an uncomfortable corner with a 13-4 rout of the defending World Series champs Tuesday–their second-straight lopsided win and the team’s third consecutive victory.  The Sox have been here before, and they’ve roared back–but that was with "Manny being Manny", who’s now doing that pretty well for someone else…
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Sep 25 2008

Bush Bails and Wails

Posted by Big Jim in What's So Funny About The News?

  • President Bush spoke to the nation Wednesday night, telling Americans and lawmakers that the failure to pass his $700 billion financial rescue plan could wipe out retirement savings, increase foreclosures, cost us jobs and businesses and even, "a long and painful recession".  But what happens when we sink our government into unprecedented debt to aid a largely greedy industry–I believe that’s regression…
  • The president has also brought in both John McCain and Barack Obama for negotiations to seal the deal on his rescue plan, on which Congress is reportedly close to agreement.  He’s either looking for both national party leaders to convince their respective members to support it, or someone else to blame it on…
  • More interesting revelations have surfaced about vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, as the grainy video below from the summer of 2005 shows her being blessed by a Kenyan pastor who prayed for her protection from "witchcraft":YouTube Preview Image  Perhaps Palin thought even then that she would have to compete with Hillary Clinton…
  • Hurricane Ike is being blamed for NASA’s decision to postpone a shuttle mission to the Hubble Telescope next month–but the delay is a minor one of just four days.  The hurricane cost the crew a week of training time, which is crucially important to make up–apparently they need some practice focusing…
  • A new study reports that senior citizens are not embracing the use of generic drugs–as long as someone else is picking up the tab. The research found that seniors favor brand name drugs when their insurer covers them, but generic varieties when they’re the ones responsible for payment–which explains why Grandpa only wants coffee when he’s buying, but filet mignon when I am…
  • Barry BondsFederal prosecutors say they will prove that Barry Bonds’ personal trainer supplied him with steroids in November 2000–the offseason prior to Bonds’ record-setting 73 home runs.  It is crucial evidence to prove Bonds lied to a grand jury in 2003–which should only be slightly tougher to do than prove he’s an arrogant, egotistical jerk…
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