• After months of denials by spokespeople, Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie made it official–they announced Wednesday that they are divorcing after 8 years of marriage.  There are financial details to work out, since Madge is worth about a half-billion dollars and Ritchie, well, isn’t….
• Billboard magazine reports that Britney Spears is definitely hitting the road next spring after cutting a tour deal with AEG Live, that it will be international, and visit midsize venues rather than theatres or stadiums.  It sounds like another carefully-planned step made by her father, which proves that all celebrity parents aren’t publicity-seeking boobs that are painfully unaware of their childrens’ problems–but enough about Brit’s mom…
• Tina Fey still doesn’t know if she’ll return to Saturday Night Live this weekend to do her spot-on Sarah Palin impression–but CNN says that Palin herself will be a guest on the show.  Wow–maybe Palin will do her Tina Fey impression…
• MTV’s Total Request Live, or TRL, says a final farewell November 16 and Beyonce will be there to mark the moment, telling the show Monday during an appearance that she owes a lot of success to them–both for her and Destiny’s Child.  Maybe she’ll get husband Jay-Z to buy it and start his own channel–you know, Jigga TV…
• The mystery is over surrounding whatever was ailing Janet Jackson to force her to postpone 9 dates on her Rock Witchu tour–her reps announced Tuesday that she was diagnosed with a rare type of migraine-induced vertigo, but she’s receiving treatment and returned to performing Wednesday night in Washington DC. It must be great for her to resume her tour, and to realize that her only big headache isn’t brother Michael…
•  ohn McCain tried to make peace with David Letterman Thursday night, telling the late-night host that "I screwed up" by canceling an earlier appearance on the show, then endured some pretty sharp questioning by Letterman about his campaign and Sarah Palin.  I think afterwards, he probably would have preferred a debate with Hillary Clinton…

• The federal government’s quarter-trillion-dollar bank buy-in plan is being embraced by the industry as a means to get them back to the business of lending again, but many experts believe it won’t provide a quick fix to the nation’s economic problems.  In my experience, depending on a bank to really help me with my problems is like hiring a shark to host a pool party…
• Wednesday’s final presidential debate between John McCain and Barack Obama may very well be McCain’s last chance to shake up a race that many polls suggest has been wrapped up by Obama. McCain’s people have suggested he may again try to connect Obama to Bill Ayers, the one-time anti-war radical who is now a professor and neighbor of Obama’s–I don’t know about you, that gets me right off worrying about the economy…
• Engineers at NASA say they know how repair the Hubble Space Telescope, and will begin a complicated remote-control fix Wednesday that will require them to wake up parts on the telescope that have been dormant for 18 years.  Are we sure they’re qualified–after all, they probably have parts dormant for much longer than that…
• A federal appeals court has ordered that Ohio’s election officials must establish a system to verify the eligibility of newly registered voters and make that information available to all of the state’s election boards, a victory for the state’s Republicans challenging the administration of registration policies by the Democratic secretary of state.  So, the GOP is convinced the other side is trying to register ineligible pro-Obama votes, and the Dems are convinced the other side is trying to stop eligible pro-Obama voters from registering–at least they agree on something…
• Thanks to a break in Santa Ana winds, firefighters in Southern California have been able to better control 3 dangerous forest fires that have each moved closer to Los Angeles’ northwestern suburbs.  The longer they can keep those arid breezes from fanning the flames, the better off they are–then again, it’s LaLa Land, and the Santa Anas are the least of their hot air problems…
• The upstart Tampa Bay Rays, who until now had never won more than 70 games a season, have pushed the mighty Boston Red Sox into an uncomfortable corner with a 13-4 rout of the defending World Series champs Tuesday–their second-straight lopsided win and the team’s third consecutive victory.  The Sox have been here before, and they’ve roared back–but that was with "Manny being Manny", who’s now doing that pretty well for someone else…

• Fall Out Boy has decided to postpone release of its new CD so it won’t coincide with Election Day, as the band explains in a website posting: "Six months ago, we thought it would be fun to release our album on election day but this is not the election to be cute. This is the most important election of our time…we felt as though rather than making a commentary, we were only riding the wave of the election. This seemed less and like what we intended to do and more of a gimmick"…
• Britney Spears has reportedly struck a deal with event producer AEG–but the details of when and where are still unclear.  She hinted recently that she’d like to do a world tour, and her new album Circus will be out December 2–so the tour is either planned for early next year, or she’s going to a lot of trouble to establish a play date…
•  Justin Timberlake and steady squeeze Jessica Biel attended an Obama rally in Las Vegas, where he told the crowd that he wasn’t there "as some dude who writes goofy songs", but rather, "Me and Jess, we’re here as Americans. We’re here as humans because this something we had to do."  JT later sang Vote In A Box–an off-shoot of the wildly popular Saturday Night Live sketch song you may remember, only this version was more political and less scatological…
• Tina Fey says she is done impersonating Sarah Palin after Election Day–especially if John McCain wins the election, telling TV Guide, "We’re gonna take it week by week. If she wins, I’m done. I can’t do that for four years. And by ‘I’m done,’ I mean I’m leaving Earth."  Does that mean that Palin would take over on 30 Rock?
• A new autobiography by Brady Bunch star Maureen McCormick called Here’s The Story: Surviving Marcia Brady And Finding My True Voice is a frank discussion of her drug abuse as well as her romance with co-star Barry Williams.  Can you imagine Alice catching Marcia and Greg making out–that would be a totally creepy threesome…
• Gossip says The Emmy Awards people are considering a new category for best reality show judge, which would certainly include Idol’s Simon Cowell–but what about David Hasselhoff from America’s Got Talent?  As long as the category was Least Possible Negative Judge Ever In The History Of Judging…
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According to Pussycat Girls member Nicole Scherzinger (the Doll in front), vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin would make a great addition to PCD because, "She seems like a headstrong woman, a tough chick. And she’s hot!" These of course are ideal qualities–if you’re looking for a lap dancer for the Cabinet…

Britain pop superstar Leona Lewis is a bit peeved about a London label’s plans to release an album of her before she became a houshold name, and in fact her attorneys are talking lawsuit against the label if they decide to move forward.  Leona says she did the songs just for the experience of recording–which probably means she’s about as proud of them as one of William Hung’s memorable Idol performances..

A Boston musician who claims Bon Jovi’s song I Love This Town–which has been used extensively to promote baseball’s postseason–was based on his similarly-titled (Man I Really) Love This Team and is suing the band for $400 billion, based on damages of a hundred grand for each of the 4 million CD’s the band sold with the song on it.  While there are those who say his copyright claim may have some merit, it’s likely any settlement would be reduced–by, say, 8 or 9 zeroes…

Janet Jackson’s people continue to postpone shows on her Rock Witchu tour–after announcing Friday that she would resume the tour Saturday in Connecticut, and then scrapping it later in the day, they claimed her show Monday in upstate New York would be next, only to postpone that performance over the weekend.  Since she’s probably put off more shows than she’s done, they could refer to the makeup gigs as the Broken Leg of the tour…

Former The View host Star Jones is pulling no punches when she talks about her time on the show, referring to her co-hosts in an Essence magazine interview by saying, "Those girls were hateful."  Gosh, Star, you’d be mad too if someone asked you 15 times a day, "You’re rich–you better buy me something nice for my wedding!"…

Late-night TV’s David Letterman and John McCain have kissed and made up, with McCain again scheduled to appear on Letterman’s show Thursday night–after a flap that developed when McCain canceled a previous appearance at the last minute.  Letterman may have a little fun with him though–you know, calling him "that one" pretty much all night…

• Better news is coming from world markets that started the new week considerably brighter, with Hong Kong, Australia, Singapore, South Korea and China all finishing with healthy increases and Eurpopean indicies showing good gains as well.  The early news on Wall Street is encouraging as well–fewer brokers are on the ledges of downtown skyscrapers…
• After one of the worst weeks in Wall Street history, the White House is scrambling to get its unprecedented $700 billion economic recovery program up and running–which primarily means buying the bad assets that are at the heart of the current meltdown.  Of course that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook for your crappy subprime mortgage–it’s just that if you do default, it’ll be Uncle Sam left holding the bag instead of that sleazy mortgage company…
• The American Academy Of Pediatrics is now recommending that children from infants to teens get double the usually recommended amount of vitamin D–which would mean a daily intake of 4 cups of milk, far less than most kids get.  There of course is a solution for this problem–serve ice cream at every meal…
• John McCain said Sunday that he plans to "whip" Democratic opponent Barack Obama’s "you-know-what" in Wednesday’s final debate and promised more of his signature "straight talk" about the race.  Then he asked when the Early Bird dinner started and if "that one" was gonna try and sneak in…
• The world of competitive eating has a new superstar–24-year-old Joey Chestnut, who claimed the hot-dog eating crown the last 2 years running, grabbed the pizza-eating crown Sunday in Times Square by gobbling 45 slices in just 10 minutes.  Then if was off to a friend’s home for a delicious dinner–Joey downed 3 roasts, 15 pounds of potatoes, 4 apple pies and his hosts’ pet dog Ralphie in a half-hour…
• Now that the Connecticut Supreme Court has ruled that same-sex couples have the right to wed, opponents are counting on a ballot measure to force a constitutional convention–such a vote can only happen once every 20 years–as a means of rewriting the state’s charter to ban the unions.  Of course, it runs the risk of further altering the constitution–such as forcing Fairfield County to pay a 90% income tax…