• Michelle Obama told the Democratic National Convention in Denver Monday night that "I love this country", and that she and presidential nominee Barack Obama share America’s basic values and beliefs in a dream of a better future.  She did not admit, as some wild claims have suggested, that she is the love child of Bill Clinton and Oprah Winfrey…
• What’s left of Tropical Storm Fay continued to rain down from Georgia to Louisiana, which for some is a welcome relief from months of drought conditions, while Florida residents begin to mop up the over 30 inches of rain that fell along the central Atlantic coast.   Are we sure NASA hasn’t come up with a giant sponge that could collect it from one place and squeeze it out somewhere else?
• Iraqi prime minister Nouri al-Maliki insisted Monday that all foreign soldiers must leave the country by a specific date in 2011, and that there would be no legal immunity for American troops.  After being briefed on the situation, Vice President Cheney was reportedly muttering something about "regime change" and "where’s my rifle?"…
• An Alabama initiative proposal to effectively prohibit gay couples from adopting was cleared by state officials to appear on the state’s November general election ballot.  The initiative would require only married couples to adopt, and the state currently prohibits gay couples to wed–it’s that kind of shrewd thinking that has kept values in The Heart Of Dixie just as they have been for years…
• A Las Vegas judge has refused to delay the start of the trial of O.J. Simpson and a co-defendant on charges of armed robbery and kidnapping.  The Juice actually had nothing to do with the delay request–he’s anxious to get started and really hoping he can drive the same level of insane media interest in whether he could possibly be as stupid as it appears that he is…
• An Air Force researcher has found that a series of mishaps involving robotic warplanes are occuring because of operator error, due to the drones being controlled by increasingly inexperienced crews.  I understand this problem can be quickly remedied, providing enough PS3 and XBox 360 consoles can be acquired quickly enough…

• The Democratic National Convention kicks off today in Denver, and on center stage of this show of party unity and presidential history will be the wife of America’s first black presidential nominee, Michelle Obama–whose task will be to show America the human side to Barack Obama and that she is up to the challenge of being First Lady.  So does that mean she will or she won’t fist-bump Howard Dean?
• A new study concludes that America will suffer the smallest number of traffic fatalities this year since 1961–almost certainly due to skyrocketing fuel prices and the impact it’s had on driving.  In other words, it is definitely not killing us to get behind the wheel…
• Tropical Storm Fay has officially left the Southeast after making landfall a record four times causing widespread flooding in Florida–while the inches of rain that continue to fall in Alabama and Georgia are considered a blessing to that drought-plauged region. Too much and not enough–a meteorological all-you-can-eat buffet mess…
• Gas prices took another sharp drop–15 cents the past 2 weeks–to an average of $3.70 a gallon for regular nationwide, although that price is still 95 cents higher than a year ago.  Shoot–and just when I was starting to feel good about a $75 fill-up, too…
• A Texas couple has been charged with trying to trade sex with the woman’s 5-year-old daughter for an apartment, a used car and childcare for a younger daughter.  Apparently her mother believed a sexual experience that age would be beneficial–perhaps her soon-to-be new experiences will better inform her…
• The 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics closed last night with a spectacular ceremony–and with disappointment from the US that the games didn’t bring more "openness and tolerance", amid reports that eight Americans were deported during those closing ceremonies.  Apparently they didn’t agree that China has become a much more open society…

• Michelle Obama said she was "touched" that first lady Laura Bush came to her defense after being criticized by Republicans for a comment Obama made in February.  She plans to fist-bump with Bush the first chance she gets…
• John McCain continued with his energy proposals yesterday, calling for the construction of 45 new nuclear reactors by 2030 and the promise of federal money to, quote, "make clean coal a reality".  That sounds like an awful lot of work–all that scrubbing…
• Barack Obama said yesterday that as president, he would bring Osama bin Laden to justice in a way that wouldn’t allow him to become a martyr.  It’s an excellent idea–it’s just too bad Johnnie Cochran passed away..
• A new study has found that gastric bypass surgery–primarily used to treat obesity–not only reduces heart disease and diabetes, but dramatically decreases the chance of several types of cancer.  That’s amazing, but can it take on a real challenge–like curing the 6 cheeseburger lunch?
• Conservative Republicans are working to slow down the passage of a housing rescue bill designed to help homeowners avoid foreclosure, saying it would, "reward stupidity on the part of people who bought homes they couldn’t afford".  That is an ideal strategy to capture the wealthy, greedy, uncaring robber-baron vote…
• A pregnant earthquake survivor in China who was trapped in the rubble of her apartment building for over 2 days gave birth to a girl she named "Ai"–the Chinese word for "love".  She should have some nicknames too –like "Miracle" and "Blessing" and "Olympics Symbol"…

How I Met Your Mother star Neil Patrick Harris told People magazine that there is an opportunity for Britney Spears to return to the sitcom, saying, "The door is open for her. We would love [guest stars] who get in the show’s world to stick around if they want to."  The really weird part of it is that it makes her seem more normal to be a TV star…

Usher’s new CD Here I Stand is standing atop Billboard’s album chart, where it debuted with first-week sales of nearly a half-million.  Mr. Raymond says he doesn’t really care if it doesn’t sell, "a bazillion-gazillion records"–it’s just rewarding to get the album’s message out…

Miley Cyrus’ papa Billy Ray says that paparazzi salivating over the $150,000 they could get for a photo of her first kiss are too late–only he won’t say who it was.  It’s probably because of the settlement agreement he made after clobbering the kid…

Entertainment Tonight is looking a little foolish after falsely reporting Angelina Jolie gave birth to twins last week–based on information that came from an imposter posing as Jolie’s assistant.  For TV’s oldest and best-known celebrity news show, it’s kinda like catching your dad with your Aunt Velma…

Former Tonight Show sidekick and long-time pitchman Ed McMahon is facing foreclosure on his Hollywood home after falling behind on his mortgage payments.  Maybe he can move in with Doc Severinsen…

ABC’s The View will welcome Michelle Obama–wife of Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama–as a guest host June 18, where she will participate in the show’s "Hot Topics" segment and interview guests.  Hopefully she won’t have to explain to Elisabeth Hasselbeck why she doesn’t dress like other Muslim women…