• The Bush administration wants to relax provisions of the Endangered Species Act so federal agencies can decide for themselves what actions would harm endangered animals and plants, so the Act couldn’t be used to regulate the causes of global warming.  In a press conference Monday, Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne said, "We need to focus our efforts where they will do the most good"–making sure Al Gore doesn’t get any more powerful than he already is…
• Federal officials accused a New Orleans agency of abusing a government program created to clean up houses damaged by Hurricane Katrina, claiming the agency was paying contractors who were doing little or no work at all.  I think we should spare no punishment for anyone who abuses Katrina victims this way–sentence them to jobs with FEMA…
• California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to court to fight his state’s comptroller over a plan to cut the pay of 175,000 employees until state lawmakers approve a budget.  I’m sure the lawyers will do all the talking, but if the Governator spits out "Hasta la vista, baby", it’s all over…
• An Atlanta federal judge ruled to uphold a ban on guns at the nation’s busiest airport, finding against a claim that a new Georgia law allowed weapons to be carried in certain parts of Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport.  I guess the judge just couldn’t understand the complexities of negotiating a first class upgrade without a Beretta in your belt…
• The National Hurricane Center reports that a pair of tropical distrubances emerged in the Atlantic Monday with the potential to become tropical storms or hurricanes over the next few days.  Revised predictions of a more active hurricane season means these two are more likely to become problematic–and yet more real Extreme Home Makeovers…
• Scientists say they are another step closer to developing a method to make people and objects invisible, using artificially engineered materials that redirect light around the objects.  It means I am that much closer to my ultimate dream–to learn if Heather Locklear is a "true blonde"…

The White House announced Monday that the federal deficit will grow to a record $490 billion by the beginning of the next fiscal year October 1–what one senator called "a sobering moment" for whoever ends up occupying the Oval Office in January.  I wouldn’t blame either of them if it preceeded a large number of drunken moments…

Conservative columnist Robert Novak has been diagnosed with a brain tumor–less than a week after he struck a pedestrian with his car and then drove away.  Regardless of your opinion of Novak, this is an awful thing to bear for him and I offer a sincere wish for his speedy recovery–I had just assumed he meant to behave that way…

Auto insurer Progressive Corp. is offering customers a chance to cut their rates by having a "black box" installed in their vehicle–recording the times and distances they travel, how fast they accelerate and how often they use their brakes.  Of course, the box data could cause rates to rise as well–which could make this the greatest traffic safety innovation since seat belts…

A Justice Department investigation has concluded that Monica Goodling, a top aide to former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, broke the law by using politics to influence the hiring of career staff members–jobs for which political affiliation is not to be a factor.  All things considered, it probably wasn’t that smart putting Karl Rove in charge of orientation…

A recent in-house EPA email reportedly instructed agency pollution enforcement officials to not talk with reporters, congressional investigators, or even its own inspector general.  So, do you think they might be hiding something?

A white South Carolina judge who admitted he called crack cocaine addiction "a black man’s disease" has been ordered from the bench by the state’s Supreme Court. He forgot a really important rule–Justice is supposed to be blind, not short-sighted…

• Former president Bill Clinton has offered to help Barack Obama win the presidential election, although what his role in the campaign would be is unclear now.  I’m pretty sure he doesn’t really need any help with believable excuses for his wife…
• John McCain said Tuesday that his administration would require all official vehicles and office buildings to use "green" technologies, saying the government should put its own environmental house in order before criticizing its citizens.  It’s a surprisingly logical conclusion–which is why Congress will never understand it…
• A Justice Department report criticized its own officials for using "political or ideological" factors in hiring lawyers for an elite program, choosing law school grads with conservative credentials over those with liberal-sounding resumes.  Maybe next time they shouldn’t put Karl Rove in charge of recruiting…
• For the second year in a row, super-investor Warren Buffet is auctioning a lunch with him at a New York restaurant, with the proceeds benefiting social services to the poor and homeless.  Last year’s winning bid was over $600,000–which means an hour of his time goes for about as much as some of Eliot Spizter’s lunch dates…
• Senior EPA officials disclosed that the White House refused to accept their conclusion that greenhouse gases are pollutants that must be controlled, telling them that the email message containing the document would not be opened.  In fairness, the president still hasn’t figured out what the "delete" key does yet…
• Residents of a Missouri village are outraged after learning their mayor hired a man who claimed to be a former federal agent working undercover–only he turned out to be a criminal who mistreated and robbed many of those he arrested.  Apparently he was undercover–from the law…

As hundreds of gay couples begin to obtain marriage licenses in California yesterday on the first day such unions became legal there, demonstrations have begun by those opposed–calling the ruling that overturned the state’s voter-approved ban an action "by the activist judges on the California Supreme Court".  I’m pretty sure the translation to that is, "those anti-family left-wing pinko liberal terrorist lovers"…

Flooding from the Mississippi River continues to affecct Iowa and Illinois residents.  I read that things could have been even worse if FEMA hadn’t stepped in the last time this happened in 1993 to buy much of the most vulnerable property–which was back when they actually did some good…

Barack Obama has reacted sharply to criticism from John McCain’s campaign claims that he has a pre-9/11 mindset towards terrorism, saying yesterday that he would take no lectures from, quote, "the same guys who helped to engineer the distraction of the war in Iraq at a time when we could have pinned down the people who actually committed 9/11".  Guess we can call that an election issue…

A federal appeals court tossed out the convictions of a White House official on charges he hid knowledge of his dealings with jailed ex-lobbyist Jack Abramoff, saying the official had no legal duty to disclose what he knew.  Inside the Beltway, health insurance and paid vacations are just the basics of employee benefits…

Human rights groups say that former terrorism suspects held by the US military in both Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay prisons were tortured and received other abuse resulting in serious injuries and mental disorders.  Do you think there’s any chance our decendants will back on this time and say, "Thank goodness for Dick Cheney, Father Of Our Country!"…

Some 15 tattered $20 bills recovered from the ransom paid to notorious hijacker D.B. Cooper were sold for $37.000 yesterday at a Dallas auction.  I imagine there’s more than a few people who think the winner was D.B., wanting a momento of his adventure…

• Former White House press secretary Scott McClellan’s book What Happened? has launched a political and media firestorm as it details shocking revelations from the administration’s inner circle.  Among the many critical of his book are those who ask why McClellan stayed so long if he was so unhappy–I suppose he didn’t have enough material for his book yet…
• Barack Obama’s campaign seems willing to compromise on efforts this week to seat delegates from Michigan and Florida–who are practically all committed to Hillary Clinton–likely because they believe it will not stop Obama’s ascent to the Democratic nomination.  I think the new Indiana Jones movie has less twists and turns than this drama…
• An online ad by Dunkin’ Donuts featuring celebrity spokesperson Rachel Ray was pulled after a wave of criticism that the scarf worn by Ray offered symbolic support for terrorism.  Why stop there–I’m sure those donut sprinkles must be an al-Qaeda code…
• NASA reports that its Phoenix lander is back on track to deploy its robotic arm, after radio problems threatening to hamper its mission to collect icy soil from the surface of Mars turned into nothing more than a minor glitch.  What a relief–it would have been so disappointing to not have learned that Martian Martini recipe…
• President Bush said in a commencement speech at the US Air Force Academy that we are "learning as we go" in building democracy in Iraq.  It seems as though his former press secretary’s new book is helping the rest of us do the same thing…
• A political rival of Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was the overwhelming choice of the nation’s lawmakers for parliment speaker, another strong signal of discontent with Ahmadinejad’s leadership.  That’s encouraging–unless they’re unhappy with him that he hasn’t been more loony…